Helping Women be the most Beautiful, Inside and Out

Posts tagged ‘relationships’

Instant Gratification

Ever heard the phrase “Patience is a virtue” ?

 It used to be a common phrase when I was growing up, but is pretty much unheard of today.

Who plants their own fruit or vegetables and waits for the harvest anymore? That’s what grocery stores are for.  Though it is a wise choice to raise your own crops, if you have the land, especially with food prices constantly rising.  Not to mention the taste of your own fresh food is so much better than store bought.

Ever made your own clothes?  It is rather rewarding to choose fabric that you like and a design that is unique to your own tastes, then making it with your own hands.  Does anyone even use sewing machines anymore?  I have one, but rarely use it just for small seam repairs.  Or how about spining fiber into yarn to use for kniting?  Do people still knit or crochet today?  Maybe, but not like in my grandmothers day!

Patience was a way of life. Now we have no idea what that is.

Wonder why?

Our modern society is into instant gratification. We are used to everything being at our fingertips.

Some examples of instant gratification:

Instant tanning (who wants to spend hours in the sun?)

Digital Photos (no waiting to develop film)

Microwavable or fast food (who wants to cook full meals anymore?  who has time?)

Audio Books or Videos (no one likes to read more than a page of text)

Pain pills (to treat symptoms instead of the cause)

Remote controls (can’t even move 5 feet to switch channels anymore)

Plastic Surgery (quick results, but don’t always meet expectations)

Liposuction (quickest way to loose weight)

Winning the lottery or any gambling (the odds are against you!)

The problem with instant gratification is that it can produce longterm disappointment when immediate expectations are not fulfilled.  It tends to make us loose patience, or become unthankful for things that take time to produce.

Delayed gratification has its rewards:

Relaxing with a good novel vs. watching a condensed 2 hours movie version (allows you to use your imagination, and read at your own pace)

Home cooked meals  vs. pre-cooked, ready-made

Healthy prepared food vs. quick junk food

Picking fruit from your own tree vs.  store-bought, under ripe fruit from out-of-state or country

Improving your looks and health through better nutrition and regular exercise

Treating the cause of a health problem and eliminating it naturally and permanently

Full time education to produce a career vs. low paying job due to lack of experience

So many things in life you just can’t shortcut on.  Relationships including marriage and parenting are the most important things in life that require longterm patience, and are the most gratifying.

Life is full of rewards when we take time to enjoy each and every minute.

The Difference between Men and Women

Need I say more? 

And we wonder why men have a hard time understanding us!

We only have a hard time communicating because we think men think like us.  But they don’t!  Why would we want them to? 

Men are really not complicated at all as you can see.   

For more on this subject check out this article:

From Differnet Worlds?

 

Judging a Book By It’s Cover

You’ve all heard the phrase 

“You Can’t Judge a Book by it’s Cover” 

But yet we all do it. 

Just think about it,  when you’re browsing in a bookstore aren’t you attracted to a book by how interesting the cover is?   They may be colorful, or have some unique picture or phrase that grabs your attention so you’ll pick it up to find out more, right?  They are designed that way, that’s marketing. 

Believe it or not it is the same with people! 

Did you know that you only have three to seven seconds upon meeting someone to make an impression on them?   In this short time, the other person will form an opinion about you that is based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanor, your mannerisms, and how you are dressed. 

That means you will be  judged before you can even open your mouth to speak!  

This is done on a subconscious/emotional level of the brain.  So there is nothing you can do about it, or can you?

As Will Rogers once said “You never get a second chance to make a first impression

Like it or not, you need to grab people’s attention right away by your appearance. 

Though your true beauty is on the inside, your personality will take time for people to see.

“It’s beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.” ~Anonymous ~

There is only one that does not judge you by your looks, that is God.  “…for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” 1 Sam. 16:7b. 

But when dealing with people how you present yourself will determine if someone will want to be your friend, consider you for a job, or feel that you are trustworthy, and so on.

So what can you do to make a good first impression that will last?   How important is your appearance? 

Your clothes, your hair, and your mannerisms all play a part in the impression you make on others.  

Let’s start with the way you dress. 

What is the best way to dress for the meeting or occasion?  If it’s a business meeting, a job interview, or a first date even, think about  what is the appropriate attire?  Also ask yourself what other people will be wearing so you are not over or under dressed for the event. 

Wearing the correct Season of colors for your specific skin tone, eyes and hair is crucial in making the best impression and feeling confident about your appearance.

If you have confidence in yourself others will notice right away.  A polite and courteous behavior helps make a good first impression.  

How about your personal grooming?   Cleanliness is next to godliness!  Nicely styled hair, neat and clean clothes (not wrinkled like you wore them to bed the night before), and appropriately applied makeup are all important.  Oh yeah and take it easy on the perfume!  Too much can be just as offensive if not more so than none at all.

Project a positive attitude, even when you are nervousness, and remember to smile,  it’s contagious!

People will “read” you on the outside before getting to know you on the inside, so strive to be the most beautiful you can be both inside and out.

Related Articles:

What Season are You?

Makeup Your Mind

Are You Attracting or Detracting?

True Beauty is a State of Mind

From Different Worlds?

You’ve all heard of the book  “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” by Dr. John Gray, right?  As great as the book is in helping improve communications by using the analogy of men and women coming from different worlds, you need to accept the fact that as diverse as we may seem we are still from the same planet, EARTH. 

So get used to it!

It is true that men do not think like women and visa versa.  Nor do men have the same priorities as women.  We are wired differently for a reason.  This is the divine design of our creator.   He knew that opposites would attract.  Viva la Difference!  

We are designed to compliment each other. 

Men are designed with single focus, to do one thing at a time and give it their all.   They are great at accomplishing big jobs that require alot of concentration.  That is why men make great soliders, surgeons, firefighters and police officers (just to name a few).  

Their switch is either on or off.  Mostly ON!  

Women on the other hand are a bit more complicated, with many switches, knobs and buttons (moods and conditions).  And all must be turned on in the right sequence and order to get right results.  No wonder we drive men crazy!

Women are designed to multi-task.    They have responsibilities of cleaning, while cooking, and taking care of their kids all at the same time (not to mention about 5 other things usually going on as well).  But leave a man home for a day to do all the daily tasks a woman does and you find out only a few things get done.  Then we complain that they are lazy or don’t care.  That is not the problem.   They are not designed like women!

Here are some differences in the way men and women think:

Women–  talk about their feelings and frustrations.

Men–  talk about their actions and accomplishments, not their “feelings”.

Women– work out their problems by sharing them with others, and asking for help.

Men– Work out their problems alone (talking about them or asking for help is considered being weak).

Women– Desire to improve things by offering advise without being asked (men reject this as a form of humiliation).

Men– Need to be accepted as they are.  They will improve themselves when they feel loved, trusted and accepted.

It is a miracle that we can ever see eye to eye on anything!   

The important thing to understand is that we cannot make men think like us (why would we want to anyway?).  

A wife needs to have respect for her husband, not tear him down every other day.  I have seen so many women work so hard to change their men, then when they finally change them (break them) they no longer love or respect them. 

When a man feels respected he will do anything for the woman he loves.   

Success in marriage is more than finding the right person: it is a matter of being the right person.  Work on improving yourself and it will improve your marriage and your life.

Relationships take work.  And let me tell you it is “hard work”.   No great accomplishment in life is easy.  

Don’t allow your differences to tear your relationship apart.

Marriage takes a lifetime to perfect (maybe that is why it is “until death do us part”). 

 

You know what they say “practice makes perfect”, and practicing can be a lot of fun!

 

Related Articles:

The Knight Before and After

The Truth About What Men Find Attractive

You Are What You Eat, Bonappetit

 

You’ve all heard that phrase “You are what you eat”, but have you ever thought about what that really means? 

Does it mean that if you eat too many carrots your skin will turn orange, you’ll start to smell like a carrot, and bunny rabbits will start stocking you?   

NO!  It is a Figure of Speech. 

We use them all the time.  Like saying “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse”, don’t worry, really I’m not into horsemeat.   Or if I say “My job is killing me!”  I really don’t want you to start digging my grave.   We use figures to emphasize our words, to make a stronger point.

The phrase “You are what you eat” is talking about what you allow into your heart (not your mouth) is what you become. 

There is a verse in the Bible that illustrates this well, “Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart… Jer. 15:16.   Jeremiah ate the words God gave him, he made them a part of his thinking and the words gave joy to his heart.   Here is another great verse, “O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trustheth in him.” Psa. 34:8.   How can you taste God?   It is God’s words that are sweeter than honey (Psalms 19:10b), they are nourishment to the soul.  They are The Words of Life!

When words enter our ears we start to consider them (chew on them), then we decide to either reject them (spit them out) or accept them (digest them) and make them a part of our thinking, and ultimately a part of our heart that changes our lives accordingly.  

Ever heard of GIGO?  Garbage In, Garbage Out. 

We have to be careful what we allow into our mind, and dwell on in our heart, cause it will surely come out our mouth.

What do the words which you give to others do for them?  

Remember that once words leave your mouth you can’t take them back. 

But you can put your foot in your mouth, which usually happens when you say something stupid or hurtful. “Dang I can’t believe I said that!”  Sound familar?

When our spouse tells us we look beautiful we feel on top of the world, when they say we look fat we are devastated.  

 But when the guy you cut off on the freeway yells at you it barely upsets you. 

Why does one affect you but not the other?  We allow certain people to affect us because we have respect for what they say, either good or bad. 

Words can be uplifting or depressing. 

Words can be loving or hateful. 

Words can make us blush, or make us cry.  

Words can make us afraid or give us great encouragement. 

Spiteful words can be weapons for destruction of the soul. 

Comforting words can heal the broken hearted.

“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”  3 John 2

To be healthy on the inside we need to dwell on things that promote health.  The most healthy words I know come from God, our Creator, our Father who wants the best for us in every category of life.  His words are pure, peaceable and easy to be intreated (James 3:17).  They give life to those that hear and believe.

What are you eating?  What are you feeding others?

Choose your words carefully and Bonappetit!

The Knight Before and After

Once upon a time there lived a handsome and noble knight that rode about on his trusty steed, in faithful service to his kingdom, ridding the land of wretched evil doers and monstrous beasts.  All the men, from peasants to nobles, young and old,  had the utmost  respect for his courage and his fearlessness in the face of danger.  All the young ladies of the kingdom were enamored by the tales of his heroic deeds, and his charismatic charm. 

One day as he rode through the woods he heard a faint cry off in the distance, without hesitation he set his horse to a full gallop toward the sound of the distressed woman’s voice.   Upon arrival he found a fair golden-haired maiden, bound to a tree.   He recognised her at once, she was the king’s youngest daughter, Princess Anne. 

 “Most noble Sir, look yonder!” she shouted, as her captor approached from the bushes, lunging with sword in hand just as the knight lifted off his horse, then the deadly duel began… 

Let’s stop right there for a moment.

You’ve probably noticed that somewhat familiar theme is the scenario of many literary works, even some modern ones, movies such as Star Wars and Spiderman to name a few.  The “Knight in Shining Armour and the Damsel in Distress”.   What makes those stories so appealing?   They fulfill that underlying need and desire that men have to be a real “man’s man” who saves the day, and for the woman’s need to be enamored by a strong courageous man who can protect and take care of her.

Let’s fast forward to modern-day.

Do men today have the same instincts and desires as that dashing and daring knight of olden day? 

They sure do! 

But in our modern society there is not much place for them.  The closest thing we have to a chivalric knight today is a man in the Police Force or the Military that defends and protects our country from harm.  Thank God for them!

What about in a marriage? 

The husband instinctively has that same desire to protect his wife and children from harm;  to be the knight that saves the day.  

Just like in the animal kingdom, the male lion defends his pride (family) with his life.  He is brave and fearless, no wonder he is called the king of the jungle!   

But how can a man prove himself to be brave to receive the kind of respect and admiration he instinctively needs today?  

Unfortunately modern society is forcing changes in men’s and women’s roles.   Women now compete with men for jobs and status, correspondingly men have lost their knightly role in society due to negative propaganda of Male Chauvinism, and promotion of Women’s Lib.

If women are taking on more masculine roles then what alternatives do men have?  If they choose not to join the Military or Police Force they may either become tough “bad guys” to get respect, or they may adapt to more feminine roles, and take on female attributes.  All the men in-between these extremes learn to adapt to corporate, professional life or manual labor.  But do these kinds of jobs or careers really fulfil their basic knightly instinct?

How about in the home?  Ever heard the phrase “A man’s home is his castle”?  He needs to be the king or knight so-to-speak of his family.  He needs to be respected, and not criticized for every decision he makes.  He needs to know that he is needed.    There is nothing more humiliating for a knight than to have the damsel that he risks his life to save tell him that she doesn’t need his help afterall.  That is devastating to a man’s pride. 

 So what can wives do to help? 

Let him know you need him and appreciate him like the damsel in distress. 

There is a BIG SECRET to asking for help though.  Never tell him what to do or that you expect his help.

Men instinctively want to help, but not if it seems like they are being forced into it.   Be careful not to act like a mother to your husband!   Treating your husband as a child is one of the worst things you can do, and is a sure way to ruin a marriage.  

There is only one steering wheel in a car for a reason.  Only one person should be ultimately in charge, and a man is designed to be a leader.   Honestly doesn’t every woman desire that type of man?   If your husband doesn’t act like a knight, treat him like one anyway, and he will start to become what you see in him.

What an honor and a  joy for a woman to be the beautiful princess that the noble knight longs for, to take care of and to cherish. 

This may seem like a Fairy Tale, but this can be real life!

P.S. Pray for our Troops, the brave men and women that protect and keep our country free!

Tis The Season

Joy to the world! Tis the season to be jolly!

Festive music fills the air; holiday cheer abounds.

Everyone is happy at holiday time — right?   Wrong!

Truth be told, many people feel lonely, sad, anxious and depressed at this time of year.

holiday_pets

The holidays have gotten out of hand!

The media hype promotes certain images that we feel we have to live up to, but they are false, fake, not real.  Then when we don’t attain those images that were planted in our brains (probably by the sugar-plum fairies) we feel depressed, and unfulfilled.  Bah Humbug!

holiday madness

We are told that we need to buy, buy, buy, in order to feel the “spirit of giving” and make our loved ones happy.  There are even “special sales” on those supposedly perfect gift items that we can’t do without.  So we are herded through the crowded malls and stores hunting for: over priced toys, the latest and greatest electronic devises (what did we ever do before GPS’ or iPods?), and those promotional “whatever is popular on TV” items, for those we love and those we feel obligated to buy for.   We rack up massive debts to make our loved ones happy.

But Christmas comes and goes in a flash, and no one seems any more merry, instead everyone is exhausted and just happy that the holiday is over.  Then the Happy New Year begins with credit card statements from strange stores names we don’t remember shopping at,  and dollar amounts for things we don’t even remember we purchased.  Now we get really depressed cause we have to spend the whole new year paying off all the debts  that the “Christmas Spirit” posessed us to buy.

stress-holiday-shopping

Tis the Season to feel burnt out, wondering if it was all worth it.

Let’s try a little experiment; think back to last year, on Christmas Day, do you remember what gifts you gave to who?  Or what gifts you received from who?  How about two years ago?  You may remember a few, but gifts are not the main thing you remember about the holidays are they?

The important things to remember are not things at all; they are the memories of time spent with those you love.

What is the purpose of the holiday in the first place?  To celebrate the birth of Jesus?  After all “Jesus is the reason for the Season” isn’t he?  If so would he approve of how out of control the celebration of his birthdate has become?

I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but  Jesus Christ wasn’t  even born on December 25th.  There is no historical evidence for this date.  So then, who decided that Jesus’ birth would be celebrated on that date?  The early Christian church did not celebrate Jesus’ birth at all.  It wasn’t until 440 A.D.  that the church officially proclaimed December 25th as the birth of Christ.  This was not based on any religious evidence but on a Roman pagan festival. Saturnalia was a tradition inherited by the Roman pagans from an earlier Babylonian priesthood. December 25th was used as a celebration of the birthday of the sun god.  It was observed near the winter solstice.

Accurately Jesus was born under the sign of Virgo (the Virgin) so his birthdate was between August and September.

Well then does it make more sense to celebrate Santa Claus?   Have you ever noticed that most children are afraid of Santa?   They are not comfortable because they instinctively know he is a stranger.  Think about it, you tell your children not to talk to strangers, then you tell them it is “ok” to sit on this strangely dressed, weird looking big fat guy’s lap, isn’t that being hypocritical?    Kids are not stupid!   Think about what you are teaching them, when they find out that Santa is a lie, will they trust other things you tell them?  If you’re interested in finding out the origins of Santa, a.k.a. St. Nicholas go to  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

Whatever you choose to do for the holidays just do it for the right reasons.   Don’t allow yourself to fall into the chaotic mass hysteria, it takes all the fun out of it!  There is nothing wrong with celebrating good quality time with family and friends, but do it without all the media hype, lies and deception.  It will be much more rewarding.

Here are some simple words of advise:

One of the best antidotes for the holiday blues is doing something for someone else.  Volunteer your time this holiday season to help others, doing so will add a lot more meaning to your holiday season.  Get your children involved too, teach them that it is “better to give than to receive”.

homemade_gifts

christmas-craft-ornamentsHow about Making some priceless homemade gifts from the heart?  Instead of expensive store-bought items that have no meaning or any long-term value.

There are so many things to make; from cookies, breads and candies, to knitted pot holders, mittens, scarfs or socks, scented candles,  ornaments or wreaths.  Those are just a few that come to mind.  Ask your kids, they will probably have great ideas of their own.  Here is just one site I found that has some fun inexpensive holiday craft ideas: http://www.familycorner.com/dir/Kitchen_and_Home/Crafts/Holidays_and_Occasions/Christmas/

There are many resources on the internet to choose from.

Some people love the energy and exuberance of big holiday parties and activities. For others, all of it is very taxing. If you find yourself getting a little anxious, take a breather. Find a quiet spot to relax and recharge your batteries.  How about sending the kids away for an evening, and relax with a nice bubble bath!  Then curl up with a nice hot cup of coco and that great book you always wanted to read, or watch an old comedy (laughter if a great stress reliever!).

It is easy to overindulge around the holidays, but excessive drinking  and overeating will only make you feel more depressed.

Don’t be disappointed if your holidays aren’t like they used to be.  Life is full of changes.  Don’t dwell on the fact that the “good old days” are gone.  Make some “good new days” that will be the memories of tomorrow!

Now here’s the most important thing you can do to beat those blues:

No matter what is happening in your life, keep in mind all that you have to be thankful for.

You can’t be depressed and blessed at the same time!

Stay safe,  stress less and spend quality time with your family and friends!

Happy Holidays!

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